Tylan Grant

At just 16, Tylan Grant made history as the first black actor to portray a character on mainstream TV with autism spectrum disorder, winning multiple awards.

His role in Hollyoaks reflects his own experiences with gender identity and neurodivergence. In this chat with Ben, Tylan discusses the link between Autism spectrum disorder and gender dysphoria, his experience on the Hollyoak's set, transcendental meditation, and managing social anxiety. SPOTIFY APPLE PODCASTS Transcript00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:06Tylan GrantWhen I went to school and told people I was autistic, they did not believe me. Nothing came from it. No adjustments were made, no help was offered. Growing up, I was like, I feel like an alien. I feel like I'm visiting here. And then being trans, I feel like I need to over compensate on both sides were having to mask.00:00:24:08 - 00:00:37:24Tylan GrantI had to figure out am I going to choose acting or choose my gender? I'm scared of the world that I've protected myself from my entire life.00:00:38:01 - 00:01:08:19Ben BransonWe've had such a great response to the podcast, and so many of you have been in touch asking what you can do to help. It's really simple. Just follow. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. That way we can reach more people, and that way we can celebrate these great minds that think differently. At just 16 years old, Tylan Grant made television history as the first black actor to portray an autistic character on mainstream TV.00:01:08:21 - 00:01:31:08Ben BransonHis compelling performance earned him accolades such as Best Newcomer, Best Young Actor, and Celebrity of the year. Thailand's character in Hollyoaks mirrors many aspects of his own life, including his journey with gender identity and neuro divergence. I can't wait to share this one with you. Thailand is an amazing role model for living authentically and fearlessly. Let's get into it.00:01:31:10 - 00:01:41:04Ben BransonLet's see how great minds think differently.00:01:41:06 - 00:02:09:06Ben BransonI sort of failed to start this by reading something to you, and it's something that you said. What you said really touched me. I wanted to read it back to you and hear what you think about it. Now. To my trans family, euphoria and liberation is our birthright. Please never give up on it. Our happiness is worth it.00:02:09:08 - 00:02:20:08Tylan GrantYeah, I remember saying that, writing that after I had my top surgery last year, and that was something that was really on my heart.00:02:20:10 - 00:02:21:14Ben BransonWhy did you write that?00:02:21:16 - 00:02:44:05Tylan GrantI think because I had fought so hard to get to where I was, and I was privileged in so many ways to be able to access the help that I needed, even if I had to fight for that and having kind of had that literal, like weight off my chest. I was like, oh, wow. Like, I feel free.00:02:44:07 - 00:03:03:01Tylan GrantSo many people asking me how does it feel? Where like, do you feel like different? I'm like, no, I felt weird and different then, and I feel myself now and I just want everyone to feel like that. And, and I think everyone should feel like that. And so my trans brothers and sisters, all my trans people should feel like that too.00:03:03:01 - 00:03:31:01Tylan GrantThey should be able to feel comfortable in their body and be able to actualize who they are and have that be reflective when they look at themselves. And yeah, it's not something that is a ask or should be a fight. It should be a birth, right? I think everyone has the right to feel comfortable in themselves and feel confident in themselves, and to that was something I just felt was really a strong message.00:03:31:02 - 00:03:34:12Tylan GrantAfter I had my surgery and that was really on my heart.00:03:34:14 - 00:03:40:15Ben BransonAnd what feedback did you get from putting that out there?00:03:40:17 - 00:03:46:23Tylan GrantA lot of love I got. I mean, I also got a lot of hate, but the people closest to me, I had so much love.00:03:46:23 - 00:03:47:15Ben BransonI think a lot.00:03:47:16 - 00:04:02:03Tylan GrantHey, I did, I did I mean, I think it really depends where you look. And I was so happy that it doesn't faze me. It was a bit harsh at that point because I had just come out of surgery.00:04:02:03 - 00:04:05:00Tylan GrantAnd I was like, in bed, you know?00:04:05:00 - 00:04:33:11Tylan GrantBut it was just a lot of back and forth discourse about my body. And so that felt very a lot. But overall, the response was overwhelmingly positive. And I had so many lovely messages. When I put things that are personal to me out there, it's an hope that someone she was going through something similar can see it and be like, wow, I resonate, or I haven't thought about this or didn't think that anyone else did.00:04:33:13 - 00:04:54:01Tylan GrantThat being said, I've I've definitely I do believe that it's not up to trans people to be the spokesperson for a whole community, and I don't see myself as that by any means, but I definitely feel like if I can help just one person, then that's enough for me.00:04:54:01 - 00:04:57:00Ben BransonAnd do you see the same with being autistic?00:04:57:06 - 00:05:28:02Tylan GrantYeah, definitely. I was diagnosed when I was six, when I went to school and told people I was autistic or my parents told the teachers, showed them the information, they did not believe me. And, nothing came from it. No adjustments were made, no help was offered. Nothing happened from that. I think me being autistic has shaped a lot of my life experiences and the way people speak to me, or the way I internalize or respond or understand things.00:05:28:04 - 00:05:33:06Tylan GrantAnd so I feel like I've had to go through a lot of trial and error to be able to get where I am now.00:05:33:09 - 00:05:49:13Ben BransonIt's confusing, isn't it, sometimes, and is complex. You know, I've only I only got my diagnosis less than two years ago. I'm 41 now, so I'm like 39 going, you know, I suddenly kind of learning how my brain works.00:05:49:13 - 00:05:50:03Tylan GrantYeah.00:05:50:03 - 00:06:01:13Ben BransonAnd on the one hand, everything falling into place, everything feeling like it all makes sense. And then on the other hand, it's going okay. So what does that mean now?00:06:01:15 - 00:06:06:03Tylan GrantHow's a constant thing that hasn't stopped for me? I had to, like, get to know myself.00:06:06:04 - 00:06:10:04Tylan GrantYeah, thanks. It's only the beginning. But also only.00:06:10:04 - 00:06:22:12Tylan GrantIt's not only the beginning because you actually, in a way, go back to all of your past experiences. And I'm guessing you've kind of been like, wait a second. That makes sense now.00:06:22:14 - 00:06:28:04Ben BransonWhat's it like being autistic in your 20s in 2024?00:06:28:06 - 00:06:56:22Tylan GrantI feel like it's different. It's definitely different how I grew up. I now feel like I have more of a community. I definitely know a lot more neurodivergent people, and I think it's more of a conversation now. Whereas I had to really explain myself to people constantly growing up. And I think a lot of people to an extent, are aware of what autism is.00:06:56:24 - 00:07:06:16Tylan GrantI do feel like I've been in spaces now where being autistic celebrated, and I don't know if that's a thing now or it's just taken me more time.00:07:06:17 - 00:07:08:04Ben BransonGive me an example of one of those.00:07:08:08 - 00:07:10:16Tylan GrantI made a friend recently.00:07:10:18 - 00:07:13:11Ben BransonI love that phrase. I made a friend recently.00:07:13:11 - 00:07:16:20Tylan GrantYeah, I love that. Feels good. Yeah. That's good.00:07:16:22 - 00:07:18:23Ben BransonSorry to say, interrupted.00:07:18:23 - 00:07:24:15Tylan GrantI did make a friend recently. That phrase. I was at the cinema, watching.00:07:24:15 - 00:07:48:18Tylan GrantMy favorite film, and he was sat next to me and my sibling, and we ended up talking, and, there's something that I like to call. Well, I guess in some ways, a sixth sense when you just know someone's autistic, and we just we just saw each other, and there were moments where I was like, wow, it's so easy speaking to another autistic person.00:07:48:18 - 00:08:13:06Tylan GrantIt's just different. I just feel so liberated in that, like, we can literally be having two different conversations at the same time, and I and there's never a point where, you know, sometimes I'll be speaking to someone and we're talking and they're like, that was random. And I'm like, that wasn't. I thought conversations are meant to like, you know, you switch topics all the time and it's great not to feel weird.00:08:13:07 - 00:08:29:04Tylan GrantIt's great to feel celebrated in that. And also just in the things that I'm interested in meeting other people that I love film, and I feel like I've met a lot of people that recently that also interested in things I'm into. Yet to find an ice hockey fan, but that's fine.00:08:29:07 - 00:08:34:06Ben BransonHey, look, we can talk for Mighty Ducks because we're both fans and my ducks.00:08:34:08 - 00:08:35:15Tylan GrantAre so good.00:08:35:15 - 00:08:37:13Ben BransonSo good. Okay, let's do it. That is.00:08:37:13 - 00:08:39:20Tylan GrantBest. Yes. Agreed. Yeah.00:08:39:21 - 00:08:41:13Tylan GrantThough I haven't seen The Breakfast Club, so.00:08:41:13 - 00:08:46:00Ben BransonYeah. Me neither. Okay, so film is a big interest. That area for you?00:08:46:02 - 00:09:07:17Tylan GrantYeah, massively. I'm trying to visit every store, every store in London. And then I'm rating the films, also rating the environment and, like, the employees and stuff, like the vibe I got, I'm trying to, like, collect DVDs and then play them on my projector, and that feels really good. And. Wow. Yeah, you don't always know what you're going to get.00:09:07:19 - 00:09:08:07Tylan GrantI mean, it.00:09:08:07 - 00:09:15:14Ben BransonIs how are you, 22? Yeah, 22 year old and DVDs. I mean, God, I sound so old.00:09:15:14 - 00:09:17:13Tylan GrantYou should see my room. It's like.00:09:17:15 - 00:09:18:13Ben BransonWhat is your read that.00:09:18:19 - 00:09:19:00Tylan GrantA.00:09:19:00 - 00:09:22:13Tylan GrantLot of Twin Peaks. It's almost like, not cool.00:09:22:15 - 00:09:33:07Tylan GrantIt's a lot of, like, Twin Peaks posters and like, board games and like Twin Peaks calendars. Twin peaks picture of, Dell Cooper and.00:09:33:09 - 00:09:53:10Tylan GrantSheriff Truman framed next to my bed. I thought of Twin Peaks. I think my room is a very safe space for me, because it feels like an extension of who I am, in a way, because I like to collect little things that are reflective of all the things I love. And so it's like almost like a fun little trinket museum.00:09:53:10 - 00:10:11:19Tylan GrantI think that's why physical media is very important for me, like obsolete media, like I have stereos and Walkmans and projectors and iPods and I just, I like to keep things that I can feel and like know is real. And won't just disappear one day. You know.00:10:11:21 - 00:10:23:09Ben BransonI've kept iPods, cameras, video cameras, partly because I like to show my children that this is what it is.00:10:23:14 - 00:10:24:13Tylan GrantYes.00:10:24:15 - 00:10:36:03Ben BransonYou know, it used to be separate. You didn't have these things. This one item that can be a video camera, camera, you know, music staying and a phone.00:10:36:03 - 00:11:00:01Tylan GrantYeah. It's crazy. Yeah. And I think also with like, cycles and everything, everything's always going back. There's something really beautiful about like the imperfection of something that's constantly evolving and like technology is constantly changing. And yeah, I mean, like when you go and get the Shrek DVD and that like menu comes up, nothing else compares. You don't get DVD menus.00:11:00:03 - 00:11:02:15Tylan GrantI don't get menus anymore. It's great.00:11:02:17 - 00:11:03:15Ben BransonBonus.00:11:03:15 - 00:11:09:10Tylan GrantYeah, yeah you don't. They're just commentary. It's it's great. Yes, I love that.00:11:09:12 - 00:11:36:11Ben BransonObviously we've had Carrie. You're wonderful, brilliant mother on her first guest. And she gave us a brilliant insight into your family home life. I'd like to hear that from you. What's home like? Family. Those relationships. Having a totally neuro spicy family. Can you tell me about that?00:11:36:13 - 00:12:08:04Tylan GrantYeah. We are a very interesting household. I feel like each of us have very different ways of existing, but we make it work, you know? And and we're constantly learning more about each other. And I feel like it's, it's it's always been a space of great growth. I think I, I've reached an age where I was like, wait, I can talk to my parents about stuff like, oh, I can't come out.00:12:08:10 - 00:12:30:24Tylan GrantThey've actually always been pretty accepting. I'm very lucky to have that. But I think because I was, you know, the second you leave the house, the world doesn't look like that. And so I thought, oh, maybe they won't accept me, but I think I'm constantly learning. No, like, this is safe. This is this is a welcoming space.00:12:30:24 - 00:12:33:00Ben BransonHow mealtimes, meal times.00:12:33:00 - 00:12:55:22Tylan GrantInteresting. Because I never realized that things, strange until other people like, oh, no, like, no, we don't do that. Like, that's not a thing people do. So, like, growing up, when we would eat as a family, my parents would be like, no singing at the dinner table. And I every where I went. Like, I take that with me.00:12:55:22 - 00:12:59:03Tylan GrantLike, even if I was at the school canteen, I'd be like that. You can't sing like we're.00:12:59:03 - 00:13:02:05Tylan GrantEating like the manners, like, read the room.00:13:02:05 - 00:13:13:02Tylan GrantAnd then I think one day I went to a family's friend's house and one of the parents was like, wait, what? Like, what do you mean? I see the dinner table? Like, that's not rule anyone has.00:13:13:02 - 00:13:17:13Tylan GrantSo I guess that's just my family, because I think because we're always singing.00:13:17:13 - 00:13:53:07Tylan GrantIn our house, like there's always some kind of noise coming from every direction. So we don't eat as a family animal or we don't as much unless there's certain occasions. Because for me personally, I find it quite hard to eat in front of people. I struggle with, like noise, and I find it easier to watch something whilst I eat, so I tend to watch TV whilst I eat, which I know maybe people don't agree with, but that's just how I function and flourish.00:13:53:11 - 00:13:59:23Ben BransonYou know I cannot stand. Is watching someone on TV.00:14:00:00 - 00:14:02:08Tylan GrantEat yes.00:14:02:10 - 00:14:04:02Tylan GrantOr no.00:14:04:04 - 00:14:06:18Tylan GrantFor the audio? Listen, I'm covering my mouth in disgust.00:14:06:18 - 00:14:09:20Ben BransonOr that is a real.00:14:09:20 - 00:14:10:12Tylan GrantYeah.00:14:10:14 - 00:14:11:04Ben BransonYeah that's it.00:14:11:06 - 00:14:15:24Tylan GrantI, I respect when they don't do that because also the continuity of that.00:14:16:02 - 00:14:22:11Tylan GrantIt's crazy. I actually maybe I do respect it because you have to keep eating like I've definitely done that on set where.00:14:22:11 - 00:14:35:06Tylan GrantI've had a bite of a cake and they're like, okay, we're going to have to do or let's do this. Another angle I might end up eating like one bite of 15 pieces of cake. And it's not it's not cute, I'll.00:14:35:06 - 00:14:36:01Tylan GrantTell you that.00:14:36:03 - 00:14:38:14Ben BransonHow did the Hollyoaks role come about?00:14:38:14 - 00:15:08:08Tylan GrantThat was actually an open audition. They were specifically looking to cast someone autistic, and a close family friend sent me a link to like, the shoutout. And so I went to the audition. I got a callback and I didn't expect that. They gave me a sheet of the people I'd be meeting at the audition and, well, a picture of them where I'd be picture of the place really laid out for me.00:15:08:10 - 00:15:16:19Tylan GrantAll those things that are so helpful but have never really been done and I don't think, necessarily take up too much time to do.00:15:16:20 - 00:15:18:15Ben BransonWhat did that do for you?00:15:18:17 - 00:15:44:24Tylan GrantI think being autistic, the uncertainty of certain situations can really not set me up for a great time because I will be constant simultaneously, not trying to set an expectation just as a person. Let's not go in with crazy expectations or visualize this interaction or plan it out too much, because I don't know what it's going to look like.00:15:44:24 - 00:16:02:07Tylan GrantAnd if it doesn't look like that, I don't want to freak out. Yeah. And so I know okay, this is I know when I get that this is who I'm seeing and I know what the building looks like, these are things that I don't need to worry about now, because you've given me a description of yourself and your name and your pitch.00:16:02:07 - 00:16:25:04Tylan GrantI don't that uncertainty is is gone. And even just I think the gesture of that meant something for me. I think they, they were really trying to create a space where anyone that auditioned could really do what they needed to do without added stress or, you know, they were just trying to set us up for a good time.00:16:25:06 - 00:16:35:12Ben BransonAnd how much of your time at Hollyoaks being autistic, playing an autistic character, how much of that was you?00:16:35:12 - 00:16:55:11Tylan GrantThere are a lot of things about this character that they wanted to get right, and so they went to me for and they wanted a reference maybe, and they wanted to understand. And they all did training. And I think there were a lot of traits in them that I really related to from an autistic perspective, because it felt very personal to me.00:16:55:11 - 00:17:15:24Tylan GrantSome of those stories, and same with like being trans, I think they kind of try to go along with my journey as I was growing, and that was really good for me because I was worried that, like, I didn't come out for a while because I was like, I don't want to lose my job. And so they really wanted to get it right.00:17:15:24 - 00:17:27:01Tylan GrantAnd so it just so happens that my character's journey kind of aligns with my journey in many ways, because, yeah, because I was going through kind of very similar thing this at the time.00:17:27:01 - 00:17:42:10Ben BransonYou were in that role for the 6 or 7 years. It, it, it sounds like there was a lot of effort gone to, to create a supportive and safe and environment as possible. That clearly has been a massive part of your journey.00:17:42:10 - 00:17:45:19Tylan GrantYeah, I practically grew up that yeah.00:17:45:20 - 00:17:59:02Ben BransonYou read a lot about young people that start acting and they get a big role and it can go really wrong. you know, and it can be really detrimental. But it sounds like that was really nurturing for you.00:17:59:04 - 00:18:20:22Tylan GrantYeah. Growing up with my parents, I, I was in spaces where I was in front of the public, in the public eye in some ways. So I understood that putting myself out, that I would receive, you know, a mix of responses, especially with something that is so close to who I am. And so I did have to prepare for that.00:18:20:22 - 00:18:27:07Tylan GrantBut I think that was effort that put in behind the scenes that helped. And yeah.00:18:27:09 - 00:18:42:04Ben BransonCan we talk about gender dysphoria and autism? There have been some studies showing that link, but I wanted to hear from you your experience or or your views on that.00:18:42:06 - 00:18:48:12Tylan GrantYeah, I think there is a big correlation if my past, my research has means anything.00:18:48:17 - 00:18:49:08Tylan GrantWhich it does.00:18:49:09 - 00:19:28:05Tylan GrantWhat I have learned is that there is a big crossover. I think the world is very black and white place, and as much as being autistic means that we fit into that in some ways where it's like, no, this is the very site, and in some ways there is also that gray area that we're constantly living in that we've had to kind of try and adapt out of to fit into this or that rather than nothing, because we've been taught that labels exist and, you know, you act like this certain person acts like this way, and, you know, this kind of person acts like this.00:19:28:05 - 00:19:53:08Tylan GrantAnd so I don't think we necessarily that's not something that is always innate to some autistic people. And a lot of trans autistic people I've met have kind of shared that same sentiment. You know, these things are placed on us, but we know how we feel. And and so I think that can apply to a lot of different situations.00:19:53:08 - 00:20:26:10Tylan GrantBut when it comes to transness, I think it makes a lot of sense, especially for me feeling so wrong and being autistic, feeling like I couldn't discern why this wrongness, what that was because I think there's a big intersection. Growing up, I was like, I feel like an alien. I feel like I'm visiting here. But I'm not entirely aware of these social etiquettes that everyone seemingly has been taught when I was asleep or something.00:20:26:12 - 00:20:49:07Tylan GrantAnd then being trans, I'm like, oh, but okay. So I, I feel like I need to over compensate in my the femininity that has been placed on me in order to feel the slightest bit like a woman. And that does not come natural at all, and that does not feel right at all. Neither of those things feel right.00:20:49:09 - 00:21:23:14Tylan GrantAnd so it's like on both sides we're having to mask. And I think that is also why dysphoria can be really, really big. It can be just so overpowering and so overwhelming. I think it takes a lot of unlearning. It takes a lot of deconstructing things you've been taught and indoctrinated into. I think it takes a lot of reflection and.00:21:23:16 - 00:21:47:01Tylan GrantTime to assess what feels right and where that comes from. And does this belong to me, and why do I think this is that? Because I've been told this because, I mean, I don't know if you have this, but sometimes I spend a while masking and I go home and I don't know how to undo it. and that can be so exhausting and so taxing.00:21:47:01 - 00:22:12:21Tylan GrantAnd I think it can also apply to gender dysphoria, because I, I spent so much time in this kind of facade that I even convinced myself because I thought, oh, this is as good as it gets. So I just have to put up with this rather than being like, no, let's address there's something not right and it's not been right as long as you've known.00:22:12:23 - 00:22:28:15Ben BransonHow do you then get to a point where it's wrong enough? So, you want to do something about it. Tell me about that moment.00:22:28:17 - 00:22:39:03Tylan GrantI came out is by when I was like 13 and I was like okay so I'm feeling something else but I, I'm, I'm getting bullied right now so I don't have time to think.00:22:39:03 - 00:22:40:19Tylan GrantAbout this. I like kind.00:22:40:19 - 00:22:41:24Tylan GrantOf shelved the trans.00:22:42:01 - 00:22:43:19Tylan GrantSituation for a.00:22:43:19 - 00:23:15:08Tylan GrantWhile until it got like completely unbearable. I think now that I am more comfortable in who I am, I feel like I am coming back to the younger me, and I feel like I relate more to that, that younger person like the point where I got so bad was where I had to figure out, am I going to choose acting or choose my gender of being comfortable myself?00:23:15:08 - 00:23:20:19Tylan GrantBecause I'm scared that if I come out, I don't know what's going to happen. I'm scared of the wow.00:23:20:19 - 00:23:22:00Tylan GrantDo you know.00:23:22:02 - 00:23:25:02Tylan GrantThat I've protected myself from my entire life?00:23:25:07 - 00:23:26:17Ben BransonWho did you talk to?00:23:26:19 - 00:23:47:04Tylan GrantIt's funny because I think I, I think I told people in many ways that they probably weren't either like, recollect or they weren't really have processed it. That was what I was doing. But I think there have been many times before it came out where I was like, hey guys, what if I just changed my name or something?00:23:47:06 - 00:23:48:24Tylan GrantYou know, like, what would you do that?00:23:48:24 - 00:23:51:10Ben BransonWere people surprised?00:23:51:12 - 00:24:16:17Tylan GrantI don't know, for me, it was different because I came out as non-binary before some my journey and like myself that felt more comfortable of course. But also I still knew that something lying beneath the surface I hadn't, that I couldn't unpick because I didn't know if other people would understand it. So I didn't want to like shock people.00:24:16:17 - 00:24:22:07Tylan GrantAnd I was like, what if I, you know, make this a gradual. Yeah, gradual thing.00:24:22:09 - 00:24:41:09Ben BransonBecause when I told bit of not that I tell I everybody that I'm autistic, but telling people, I'm telling some people they weren't surprised. And so that led me to kind of think am I the last to know. Yeah.00:24:41:11 - 00:24:46:24Tylan GrantYeah. Sometimes I really relate to that.00:24:47:01 - 00:25:03:03Ben BransonIn some ways that's quite difficult to process of like, hold on. If other people are thinking or seeing the explanation for how my brain works and who I am, and I'm blind to it, I'm not seeing it. That's kind of what are.00:25:03:03 - 00:25:04:08Tylan GrantThose blind spots?00:25:04:08 - 00:25:05:01Tylan GrantYeah.00:25:05:03 - 00:25:10:04Tylan GrantAnd what are they revealing about you that you've spent so much time trying to like Moschino?00:25:10:08 - 00:25:15:11Ben BransonBut I think I'm doing a pretty good job. Yeah. Like trying to be normal. And I clearly am not.00:25:15:11 - 00:25:15:23Tylan GrantYeah.00:25:15:23 - 00:25:37:15Tylan GrantI did see like a study or something. Don't quote me on this. Something like neurotypical people, there's something where their brain can just register when someone is not neurotypical. And it's not that they necessarily, like this person's autistic or this person's neurodivergent, but they're just like, no.00:25:37:17 - 00:25:38:20Ben BransonLike a radar.00:25:38:22 - 00:25:39:18Tylan GrantYeah. It's weird.00:25:39:23 - 00:25:56:09Ben BransonI'm trying to think Joe Black Tourette's drag comedian, very funny, amazing musician. And I'm pretty sure it was him who said he can. He can spot another Tourette's person across the room. Like, they can lock eyes and they know.00:25:56:11 - 00:25:57:01Tylan GrantYeah.00:25:57:01 - 00:26:11:19Ben BransonAnd a bit like you're saying about I made a friend recently and that person also being autistic and it's like, boom, you're there, you're in immediately. And there isn't that need for all the explanation. We didn't have any small talk.00:26:11:21 - 00:26:13:22Tylan GrantNo. What's that?00:26:13:24 - 00:26:17:17Tylan GrantWhat is that? I don't know what that is. What is it?00:26:17:18 - 00:26:22:12Tylan GrantWhat is small talk and why is it small?00:26:22:14 - 00:26:30:10Ben BransonI don't know, because I. I don't know what it is because I don't have, I don't I don't have any time for it.00:26:30:12 - 00:26:32:20Tylan GrantLove to hear from someone that knows stuff about that.00:26:32:21 - 00:26:34:14Ben BransonYeah, I know autistic. Please tell.00:26:34:14 - 00:26:36:15Tylan GrantUs, please, how to be small.00:26:36:15 - 00:26:38:01Ben BransonTalk. Tell us the rules.00:26:38:01 - 00:26:38:20Tylan GrantYeah.00:26:38:22 - 00:26:40:18Ben BransonLet's talk about anxiety.00:26:40:20 - 00:26:41:12Tylan GrantOkay?00:26:41:14 - 00:26:43:16Ben BransonI mean I'm anxious all the time.00:26:44:22 - 00:27:03:07Ben BransonAnd I'm learning to I'm learning to use that. I'm learning to kind of like channel that and harness that. And that keeps me on my toes. And I feel alive and yeah, I feel like my, my brain brain's on and working to get anxious.00:27:03:09 - 00:27:34:16Tylan GrantI do I used to have terrible anxiety. I just have very bad panic attacks a lot. Yeah, that was a very tough time. I know when I'm anxious, but I think that I just at some point was existing with that feeling in my body. And normalizing it in a way where it wasn't good for me, but I just didn't think it could get better.00:27:34:16 - 00:28:00:17Tylan GrantBut I started doing for me what really helped. I do transcendental meditation, and that really helped my anxiety. Like I meditated, I started when I was like 15. I had all different types and I still had very bad anxiety. But this is like very, very much helped me discern where that feeling is in my body. So when it does arise, I'm like, okay, this is happening.00:28:00:17 - 00:28:18:01Tylan GrantWhereas when I first started TM, after a few weeks, I was like, wait a second, I've been anxious this whole like, I've just been existing like this and I now I know what it's like to not feel it. It's like I didn't realize that that's what I was feeling.00:28:18:03 - 00:28:21:24Ben BransonDo you feel in your body? Do you feel connected to your body?00:28:22:01 - 00:28:50:15Tylan GrantYeah, I really do. I do in a way where I can't figure out, like my brain is an anxious place and my body is in an anxious place. But currently, like speaking like this over, over the past year or so, I've been able to be like, I'm feeling my body is feeling anxious rather than. Or my mind is feeling anxious, like I can discern and and unpick that and like notice that bit more than I could before.00:28:50:19 - 00:29:20:22Tylan GrantBut another thing that really helps when I'm going into social situations like if it's like a friend's birthday or I'm going to like a gathering, I always give myself permission to leave after half an hour before I go out. I'm like, okay, I'm going to go for half an hour to 45 minutes, show, show my face, and then I'm going to go home and I, I don't want to jinx it, but I usually end up being like one of the last people to leave.00:29:20:22 - 00:29:24:22Tylan GrantI don't know, that's just what I found.00:29:24:24 - 00:29:56:03Tylan Grantbut it always helps for me to give myself permission to go, because I think the more time I spend with myself, the more comfortable I am with myself, and the more I enjoy myself, and the more I like myself. And so I notice how other people make me feel. And if that's a plus, or if that's a minus, if I'm drained, or if I'm feeling elated after that, I can pinpoint that way more than I could before, because my mind was a mess and I was always like, everywhere.00:29:56:05 - 00:30:13:23Ben BransonI'm going to be really patronizing for a second time and just go, that's amazing that at 22 you can know that I have the awareness of that. Thank you. That's that's really grown up.00:30:14:00 - 00:30:45:12Tylan GrantThank you so much. It's taken a it's taken a while for me, but it's definitely been a journey I think. I think also just like letting things be lessons rather than internalizing it and then carrying it as if this is life like that's happened to me. So everything is happening to me rather than I'm going with life. And it's kind of like a video game, like when I leave the house, I'm like, okay, maybe that wasn't my most successful interaction, you know what I mean?00:30:45:12 - 00:31:15:18Tylan GrantI'm like, okay, I could have done that differently. yeah. Okay. But I'm, I think there's less emphasis on I did this wrong because this past, like, this person didn't fill me like I was trying to get them to like me. But I do think I'm realizing that it's just as important that I like that person. I often, and maybe that's slightly selfish.00:31:15:18 - 00:31:39:00Tylan GrantAnd, I mean, it can be selfish either way, but sometimes I go into interactions feeling like I, I'm controlling the amount of fun we have. Maybe that's an autistic thing. So I'm like, and if my like if someone I've just met, we might not even know each other that well. Maybe they're a bit quiet. I'm like, okay, so I need to overcompensate and I need to yap because they're not having fun right now.00:31:39:02 - 00:31:49:11Tylan Grantand that's because it's all on me. And it's all on me. And I leave feeling like I would it was so bad. And then instead of being like, wait a second, did I even like that person like this?00:31:49:13 - 00:31:51:03Tylan GrantWas I even having a good time.00:31:51:03 - 00:31:52:21Tylan GrantOr was I just worrying about.00:31:52:23 - 00:31:54:07Tylan GrantControlling the environment?00:31:54:07 - 00:31:54:15Tylan GrantI don't.00:31:54:15 - 00:31:55:08Tylan GrantKnow.00:31:55:10 - 00:32:08:12Ben BransonSorry. those things so much because, you're just talking the truth and and I can relate so much. I mean, the whole socializing is hard.00:32:08:12 - 00:32:13:01Tylan GrantIt's harder. I felt like that was just me as well. So, like.00:32:13:03 - 00:32:18:24Ben BransonYeah, it's really hard. I really love the permission to go just for half an hour.00:32:19:05 - 00:32:20:16Tylan GrantIt changes the game.00:32:20:19 - 00:32:30:24Ben BransonAnd the trip and then you're there at the end. I think that's. Yeah, I think that's that's funny because quite often I don't even go right. So I just don't go.00:32:31:01 - 00:32:31:12Tylan GrantYeah.00:32:31:17 - 00:32:43:23Ben BransonRather than create better conditions for going. So rather than just it being yes or no and me saying yes, meaning I'm I got I got to be that.00:32:44:03 - 00:32:44:20Tylan GrantExpectation.00:32:44:20 - 00:32:49:11Ben BransonOr to take, I've got to be there for the whole thing and I'm going to have to talk to loads of people.00:32:49:11 - 00:32:50:11Tylan GrantYeah.00:32:50:13 - 00:32:56:19Ben BransonIt's just bringing that back and going, okay for a bit. Yeah. And and have an exit strategy.00:32:56:20 - 00:33:20:18Tylan GrantYou are in control of your night. Not other people's but your amount of fun. Yeah. And if you meet people that maybe they don't get you, maybe they think you're weird. That's on them because you're like the main character in your movie. So I like to see it like that. I'm like, okay, if I go out and I'm like, if I don't have a good time, I'm just going to go home because I know that I could have fun there.00:33:20:19 - 00:33:22:12Tylan GrantYou know?00:33:22:14 - 00:33:24:12Ben BransonYeah. And you know that you've got somewhere else.00:33:24:12 - 00:33:25:19Tylan GrantYeah, yeah.00:33:25:24 - 00:33:29:19Ben BransonAnd that, that safe and that that's. Yeah. You've got those choices.00:33:29:19 - 00:33:52:11Tylan GrantI think like that kind of aligns with my experience being autistic as well though, because it takes a lot of figuring yourself out, especially, I imagine, like if you've had a late diagnosis, your understanding the way you do things and so you're able to find strategies rather than just being like, this didn't work because, yeah, whatever.00:33:52:11 - 00:33:54:04Ben BransonRather than just being myself up.00:33:54:05 - 00:33:55:00Tylan GrantYeah.00:33:55:02 - 00:33:56:23Ben BransonBecause you got an explanation.00:33:56:23 - 00:33:57:11Tylan GrantYeah.00:33:57:16 - 00:34:04:03Ben BransonAnd I have an understanding so I can do something about it.00:34:04:05 - 00:34:04:14Tylan GrantYeah.00:34:04:19 - 00:34:05:13Ben BransonIt's choices.00:34:05:13 - 00:34:10:12Tylan GrantIt's so helpful when you find out that there's nothing wrong with you.00:34:10:14 - 00:34:15:15Tylan GrantIt's just it's. Yeah, there are, like, ways for us to flourish.00:34:15:15 - 00:34:23:08Ben BransonYeah. Being autistic, how do you know what environments are going to be really good for you and what are not going to be really good for you?00:34:23:10 - 00:34:47:00Tylan GrantIt's a good question. I think sometimes fear and excitement feel the same for me. So I might be nervous to go out, but I'm also excited at the at the idea of that. Also, like not forcing anything as good if you're not the type of person that wants to socialize every day, then that's you're just not the type of person.00:34:47:00 - 00:35:17:04Tylan GrantAnd that's something that has helped me, is to figure out the balance of of things, because I think it's super important to like charge yourself. And for me, feeling charged is when I'm at home watching a movie, playing guitar in nature, or seeing one of my best friends. For me, that's like a charge. And then maybe I'll feel like I can face certain things, whereas if I if I feel drained and I am, I tolerance will just be low.00:35:17:04 - 00:35:25:09Tylan GrantAnd it's probably more likely that I'm gonna be overwhelmed. I could shut down if I'm if I'm feeling like I have nothing in me.00:35:25:11 - 00:35:27:09Ben BransonHow often do you shut down?00:35:27:11 - 00:35:55:23Tylan GrantI'm quiet, introverted person, so sometimes if I keep, like, doing stuff without a break, everything gets louder, everything gets brighter, and everything gets just bigger and scarier for me. So I tend to shut down in those moments where I'm, like, exhausted. Or also sometimes I don't realize that I'm going to shut down. Like, I can't tell you when I'm going to shut down.00:35:55:23 - 00:36:02:16Tylan GrantI might just be somewhere and I'm like, oh, just like it just happens sometimes.00:36:02:18 - 00:36:03:13Tylan GrantYou know.00:36:03:15 - 00:36:05:16Ben BransonI'm at like once a month now.00:36:05:16 - 00:36:10:02Tylan GrantI that's good. I, I'd say the same. I probably say the same.00:36:10:04 - 00:36:27:07Ben BransonAnd again, I don't know, it's definitely linked to how much I've taken on my doing how social all that sort of stuff. Yeah. And therefore my energy levels and tiredness etc. but I don't know when it's going to happen.00:36:27:09 - 00:36:32:10Tylan GrantYeah, it's almost like it's a slow burn and then it just.00:36:32:12 - 00:36:35:02Ben BransonMy wife's better at recognizing.00:36:35:03 - 00:36:37:07Tylan GrantOh like the like the signs of.00:36:37:08 - 00:36:37:15Ben BransonThat's.00:36:37:21 - 00:36:38:15Tylan GrantPretty good.00:36:38:20 - 00:36:40:23Ben BransonI'm pretty pretty good for her. It's not really good for me.00:36:40:23 - 00:36:44:09Tylan GrantBut you know. Yeah, it's not like hi I want.00:36:44:09 - 00:36:50:01Ben BransonTo try and yeah, I want to try and recognize or understand the patterns. Right. Of course I want to like.00:36:50:07 - 00:36:50:21Tylan GrantYeah.00:36:50:22 - 00:36:53:14Ben BransonKnow how it works so I can make it better.00:36:53:16 - 00:36:59:10Tylan GrantBut if you don't have that, the fact that you have someone that can see you, that's really important.00:36:59:16 - 00:37:17:09Ben BransonYeah, that's really helpful. Let's talk about your the things you're interested in. Because you said to me, people never ask me about like, my special interests. and I'm like, great. Well, I'm going to ask you.00:37:17:11 - 00:37:20:22Tylan GrantI set myself up. Yeah. I just have one house up, guys.00:37:21:02 - 00:37:24:10Tylan GrantI have another five hours. I will be talking about anything for.00:37:24:10 - 00:37:26:06Tylan GrantThe rest of this podcast.00:37:26:06 - 00:37:27:19Ben BransonGive me three.00:37:27:21 - 00:37:48:05Tylan GrantIce hockey has to be the fast one. It's funny because I don't feel like, I liking ice hockey in London. It's too relatable. And so sometimes that feels really good because I'm like, that's for me. And it's like, yay! And but I'm not gonna lie, gets lonely sometimes. You know, you want someone to talk about it too.00:37:48:07 - 00:37:56:13Tylan GrantAnd so for me, like my older sibling, like they're now into it, which is great. I want to say David Lynch for.00:37:56:15 - 00:38:01:08Ben BransonWhat is it about David Lynch that you gravitate towards, do you think?00:38:01:08 - 00:38:11:12Tylan GrantI think it might be similar to what we were talking about. When you see someone across the room and you know, they're they got a touch of the autism, you know.00:38:11:14 - 00:38:18:15Tylan GrantI think, yeah, I might, he might just. So I think for me that was immediately the first.00:38:18:15 - 00:38:40:11Tylan GrantThing when I heard him talk, I was like, this guy, you can laugh all you want, but his mind is magnificent and he has so much of it because his ideas just a never ending. And so I, I think he's been such a source of inspiration because I've watched things that I never thought that I would be able to see.00:38:40:11 - 00:39:00:09Tylan GrantLike he's just his eye is just incredible. Like the way he tells stories is incredible and also just the way he speaks. Like I heard about TM through him talking about it because he has, the David Lynch Foundation. and that's another thing. When I'm into hyper fixations, it's on his bleeds into other stuff.00:39:00:09 - 00:39:02:08Ben BransonSo that's to number three.00:39:02:09 - 00:39:20:16Tylan GrantI think the default for me is the Muppets, because I've been obsessed with the Muppets since I was eight years old, and that's never going to end. So I'm not as crazy as I was before. I used to like, give away my lunch in primary school. Like my pack lunch. I'd give it away. So I use a during lunch.00:39:20:16 - 00:39:45:11Tylan GrantI used to quiz people so I would get people to like, answer my Muppets quiz and if they got the answer right, A, B or C, they would get a bit of my lunch and I would be full of joy. But hungry. Hungry otherwise, but full because I've I've somehow convinced everyone to take interest in my interest.00:39:45:11 - 00:39:49:14Ben BransonIt's that important to you that other people are interested in what you're interested in?00:39:49:15 - 00:40:12:06Tylan GrantNot necessarily. I don't think it's a thing where I want everyone to love what I love. There's more to me than my interest that doesn't define me as a person. But at the same time, like my bedroom, they they, they can highlight, you know, a little part of me, I think it can represent bits of me and my interests.00:40:12:06 - 00:40:14:18Ben BransonThey're parts of you, you expressing yourself. Yeah.00:40:14:24 - 00:40:42:12Tylan GrantSo I don't need them to be interested, but I it is nice being in an environment where you don't feel like you're speaking too much. Because another thing that is like, not spoken about. But I think actually I did see it talked about online recently was I'm pretty sure it was a neurotypical person. It was just someone they tweeted, I don't like when I'm talking to someone and they have to relay everything back to them.00:40:42:14 - 00:41:08:11Tylan GrantAnd I really was like, okay, so I'm going to spiral for the next three hours because that's pretty much the foundation of every conversation I have is that's how I relate to people. That's how I understand things. And I never mean it to be, to come across as me being disinterested. It's it's me being like, I got it, you know, that's how conversations work in my brain.00:41:08:11 - 00:41:19:06Tylan GrantBut apparently that's not polite. So sometimes I think my interests bleed into conversations, but that's that's me trying to relate. It's not me trying to take over.00:41:19:11 - 00:41:21:01Ben BransonYeah. Or make it about you.00:41:21:02 - 00:41:23:02Tylan GrantYeah. No. That's never.00:41:23:04 - 00:41:24:00Ben BransonIt's. Hey. Yeah.00:41:24:00 - 00:41:33:01Tylan GrantIt's me trying to be like you're. And I understand what you're saying or you're seen because this also happened to me. Or I also like this.00:41:33:03 - 00:41:40:08Ben BransonSo earlier you talked about ice hockey and then I said, oh my God, have you seen The Mighty Ducks?00:41:40:08 - 00:41:41:13Tylan GrantYeah.00:41:41:15 - 00:41:47:19Ben BransonSo I took the conversation off like, oh no, we're not talking about you talking about ice hockey. I'm not talking about what I know about, like.00:41:47:19 - 00:41:49:04Tylan GrantThis fills me with joy.00:41:49:04 - 00:41:50:13Ben BransonBut we got really excited.00:41:50:16 - 00:41:52:05Tylan GrantYeah. Moment. Yeah.00:41:52:05 - 00:41:56:23Ben BransonThat was a really excitable US moment.00:41:56:23 - 00:41:59:19Tylan GrantYeah. Right.00:41:59:21 - 00:42:02:09Ben BransonBellows standing there going okay.00:42:02:11 - 00:42:04:04Tylan GrantOh my gosh, 100% okay.00:42:04:04 - 00:42:05:06Ben BransonYou guys just yeah.00:42:05:06 - 00:42:09:10Tylan GrantOkay. Whatever. Those moments are so special to me because.00:42:09:12 - 00:42:16:00Tylan GrantIt is that that that is kind of what I was talking about. But the relating thing. But then I feel.00:42:16:02 - 00:42:18:08Tylan GrantCloser to you because.00:42:18:10 - 00:42:26:02Tylan GrantYou relate to that, to something else that I it's all like a threat, you know, but it always goes back to.00:42:26:04 - 00:42:45:00Ben BransonYeah. And then we could talk about my ducks too. And we didn't like that as much. Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that's to me that was that's a great way of relating to you and you going, oh, this kind of weird guy that I'm going to sit down with and chat to now. Okay, I get it. Okay. Wait, did.00:42:45:00 - 00:42:46:17Tylan GrantYou say weird guy? Me?00:42:46:23 - 00:42:49:09Tylan GrantNo, no,00:42:49:11 - 00:42:55:15Tylan GrantOnly in a good way. That's what I say. Weird in a good way. And I've always. And I've always said that about myself.00:42:55:15 - 00:42:56:01Ben BransonAnd I.00:42:56:01 - 00:42:58:10Tylan GrantThank you and other weird in a good way people.00:42:58:13 - 00:43:00:03Ben BransonWould. Do you like about your brain?00:43:00:05 - 00:43:33:01Tylan GrantIt still feels like I know the person that I was when I was a kid. Like, I have never, stopped asking questions or stopped being curious or lost interest in the world around me. Like, I still see beauty everywhere I go. And so that kind of also means that I can kind of find inspiration everywhere. And so even in my conversation with people, I think sometimes I might take something else from that conversation than they did.00:43:33:01 - 00:43:44:21Tylan GrantThey might have just seen it as an interaction. And but I'm like, I repeat the same sentence they said in my head for the next 20 minutes. I'm like, I like that. Like, or the way you said that, and I don't know, there's little things like that.00:43:44:21 - 00:43:48:19Ben BransonThe I made a friend recently is what I like that's going.00:43:48:21 - 00:43:50:04Tylan GrantI thought you made a friend recently.00:43:50:04 - 00:43:59:06Tylan GrantI was like, yeah, you made a friend recently. Not for that's for. I don't even know why I'm.00:43:59:08 - 00:44:00:19Ben BransonFixed on that phrase.00:44:00:20 - 00:44:01:21Tylan GrantBut yeah.00:44:02:01 - 00:44:10:22Ben BransonYeah. Sometimes the selection of words is, is, I don't know, I'm just like, I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna I like that phrase. I'm gonna take that phrase.00:44:11:16 - 00:44:48:07Tylan GrantAnd I think I'm able to appreciate myself more when I'm around people that get it. Because when I'm in spaces that are less adaptable or less understanding or less tolerant, I have to dilute myself. And so that's when it feels like a weakness. But when I'm out of those spaces and when I'm able to kind of reset and like come back to myself or I'm in spaces like this where is really open and people get it and it's great, and I'm around lovely people, then I feel super good.00:44:48:07 - 00:45:11:04Tylan GrantI feel like I'm able to use my perspective on my differences for the better and like I'm given the space to to do that and so it's less about what I think is good about myself. It's more to me all of it's good. It's what the other people think isn't, you know.00:45:11:06 - 00:45:18:07Ben BransonWhat's the one thing you think young people need to hear about autism?00:45:18:09 - 00:45:58:10Tylan GrantPeople are so multi faceted and there are so many different intersections and no one is ever just one thing. And being autistic, not so like so many different ways. there is not just one way to be autistic. It's not like one size fits all, like 12 signs of the zodiac type of thing. It's very much, you know, there are things that I might find more difficult or I do differently and that might look different and that might not look like someone else who is autistic.00:45:58:10 - 00:46:38:05Tylan GrantOr am I look the same. And so, just having that awareness and having the understanding. Yeah. It's interesting. I feel like being autistic and the world of neurodiverse agents has changed so much. in like the Gen Z sphere, which I'm still understanding myself because I, 22 and I so like, even like my younger brothers, but like their friends and, the internet for them, they understand autism differently and.00:46:38:05 - 00:46:39:11Ben BransonWhat they.00:46:39:13 - 00:47:13:08Tylan GrantI think there's been like a resurgence of ableism and a different way. I think we were making progress. But then in a way, like, because it's more of a conversation whenever things, are spoken about more on a bigger scale, and there's more information out there and there's more understanding out there, there's also people that are against, like, I sometimes I like I'm on Instagram Reels, there's like a picture, video and people like, there's a thing like called acoustic.00:47:13:10 - 00:47:36:15Tylan GrantI don't know if you seen that. People in the comments will be like, are they acoustic? And it's meant to be like, are they autistic? And it's like that. Everyone saying the acoustic, it's just like a trend, I guess. But I personally don't find it funny. I just find it very strange that we're doing that now. Like I think in some ways, because more of a conversation, some people are getting a little too comfortable, okay.00:47:36:21 - 00:47:43:17Tylan GrantSome people being neurotypical, people speaking on autistic people and labeling people as acoustic and.00:47:43:19 - 00:47:44:19Tylan GrantStuff like that.00:47:44:20 - 00:47:49:21Ben BransonThat really, like acoustic has a meaning.00:47:49:23 - 00:47:50:10Tylan GrantYeah.00:47:50:13 - 00:47:51:09Ben BransonOf its own.00:47:51:15 - 00:47:56:14Tylan GrantIt's. Yeah. It's like, like an acoustic guitar. Acoustic guitar. Like. Yeah.00:47:56:16 - 00:47:59:14Ben BransonSo a my brain is going, but that is just wrong.00:47:59:16 - 00:48:00:11Tylan GrantIt doesn't.00:48:00:14 - 00:48:01:18Ben BransonYeah, yeah.00:48:01:18 - 00:48:10:12Tylan GrantIt's autistic. Yeah. It's like, come on guys. It's very strange. Yeah I think we've.00:48:10:12 - 00:48:24:23Tylan GrantImproved in some ways by the same time also like. Yeah, people are getting a little I think just knowing the spaces you're in sometimes and actually speaking to autistic people rather than making assumptions is a very good thing to do.00:48:25:01 - 00:48:27:02Ben BransonYou finished at Hollyoaks?00:48:27:04 - 00:48:29:13Tylan GrantI have, yeah, I finished in December.00:48:29:13 - 00:48:31:02Ben BransonHow is that?00:48:31:04 - 00:48:45:08Tylan GrantThat was surreal. It felt very unreal until like I think the last week and I also happened to be pretty ill at the last day. I had like a crazy fever and I think my body was just like, oh.00:48:45:08 - 00:48:50:02Tylan GrantLike you're leaving. Like purging. Like what? It was like going crazy because.00:48:50:04 - 00:48:51:02Tylan GrantI don't think I had.00:48:51:02 - 00:48:52:17Tylan GrantMentally, it.00:48:52:17 - 00:49:07:04Tylan GrantHadn't really caught up with me. And also because the episodes come out like five weeks later. So even though I had left in December, people only knew and maybe early February, late January. So that was interesting.00:49:07:06 - 00:49:10:00Ben BransonThis sort of happens twice, therefore, doesn't it? So like you.00:49:10:00 - 00:49:12:08Tylan GrantLeave, but I can't even say that I've left.00:49:12:12 - 00:49:14:14Ben BransonWhat's the plan now?00:49:14:16 - 00:49:30:06Tylan GrantSo since I have a short film that has is coming out called Surprise Baby by Izzy Nick Bay, and I'm really excited for that. That was great. I have never been in a space where.00:49:30:08 - 00:49:31:12Tylan GrantThe crew.00:49:31:14 - 00:49:43:04Tylan GrantKind of reflect the people on screen, because sometimes it's like on screen there's representation, but then behind the scenes it's like a bunch of white cis guys. Do you know what I mean?00:49:43:06 - 00:49:43:20Tylan GrantSo like.00:49:43:23 - 00:50:06:14Tylan GrantI was working with a trans director and like that was just amazing. Like, I think we've really clicked and I think the story was pretty personal for him. So we were able to like, meet each other on that level. And it felt very special to do and very healing to do, because it was something that just feels very important, especially right now.00:50:06:16 - 00:50:34:12Tylan GrantAnd it's a story centering around a trans person and a couple who, having a baby shower. However, my character hasn't come out and they decided that they were not going to come out and they're going to tell their girlfriend that they are trans. They don't. Do they know that? The girlfriend's mother has made it a surprise gender reveal?00:50:34:14 - 00:50:39:22Tylan GrantSo there's kind of like a paradigm gender.00:50:39:24 - 00:50:47:13Tylan Grantyeah. Messiness going on and fighting between, you know, the roles of.00:50:47:15 - 00:50:57:19Tylan GrantThe whole idea of gender reveals and that coinciding with their relationship and their understanding of themselves and how that is all going to work out, do.00:50:57:19 - 00:51:00:15Ben BransonYou find gender confusing as a concept?00:51:00:15 - 00:51:03:03Tylan GrantYeah, the gender as a concept is very strange.00:51:03:03 - 00:51:05:05Ben BransonIt's really confusing, isn't it?00:51:05:07 - 00:51:24:24Tylan GrantAnd I never had any attachment to that. Well, I guess for me I did, but it didn't align with what was given to me, obviously. But, it was definitely something that I knew I was being taught, you know, I mean, I was very conscious of it, you know.00:51:24:24 - 00:51:39:16Ben BransonUnlike it's so wise beyond your years, like coming out and saying things like that, that when you were younger, you even realized that you were being taught gender, like.00:51:39:18 - 00:51:41:17Tylan GrantWho are you? Like.00:51:41:19 - 00:51:43:17Ben BransonSo why is,00:51:43:19 - 00:51:47:16Tylan GrantOh, yes. Okay. Thank you. Yeah. But yeah, this I.00:51:47:16 - 00:51:52:06Tylan GrantUnlocked it though. I had to relearn it again. Okay. Because I kind of got caught and,00:51:52:08 - 00:51:55:18Tylan GrantYou know, do you in the web.00:51:55:20 - 00:51:58:23Ben BransonDo you think about things a lot?00:51:59:00 - 00:52:04:14Tylan Grantin general? Yeah. Yeah, I think I think a little too much sometimes.00:52:04:20 - 00:52:06:00Ben BransonDoes that get you in trouble?00:52:06:06 - 00:52:22:24Tylan GrantI get post hang out anxiety. So in the moment I will be fine and I'll be like, oh, I'm doing so well. Yeah, yeah. And then I go home and I'm like, oh my gosh, why do I say that? I try not to think too much though, you know?00:52:23:01 - 00:52:23:21Ben BransonYeah, I think it's.00:52:23:21 - 00:52:35:15Tylan GrantGood to just take things at face value sometimes because my biggest fear is like becoming insane. To be honest, my biggest fear is thinking too much that I break myself.00:52:35:17 - 00:52:51:09Ben BransonYeah, overthinking is, can be a dangerous thing. Yeah, yeah, can be. It can be a dangerous thing. And and will you after this when we when we finish. What you think back over our conversation.00:52:51:15 - 00:52:56:23Tylan GrantProbably I, I it would be nice to say no I probably will though.00:52:57:00 - 00:53:37:03Ben BransonI was both really excited to meet you. Tottenham. I was also nervous about this episode. I don't have the same experience as you. I'm not the same age as you, but you are wise beyond your years. You have such a healthy, beautiful sense of yourself and self-awareness. I've learned a lot and I know the people listening and watching are going to learn so much to, and I'm very grateful for that.00:53:37:05 - 00:54:20:02Tylan GrantI think to an extent that I do have a duty and sharing who I am and speaking openly and answering questions, because not it might not be that I can answer every question, but it's very easy to say Google is free, but I have a platform and I'm here. And if you ask a question that opens up an amazing door for discussion and learning, and I think that should always be encouraged rather than shut down.00:54:20:04 - 00:54:29:08Ben BransonOh, you're great. No, great. And you're wise and you're insightful. Yeah. Just thanks. It's been great to chat to you.00:54:29:08 - 00:54:33:10Tylan GrantThank you so much. I've had so much fun. Like, I'm so lucky to be here right now.00:54:33:10 - 00:54:34:18Ben BransonYeah. Thank you.00:54:34:20 - 00:54:41:22Tylan GrantThank you.00:54:41:24 - 00:55:08:19Ben BransonBecause I'm autistic, I think differently. And back in 2015, I wanted people to drink differently. So I created celeb, the world's first distilled nonalcoholic spirits. I took it from my kitchen to 35 countries and the world's best bars, restaurants from retailers. And we did it in three and a half years. It was wild. They're delicious. They're intriguing. They're these distilled botanical blends.00:55:08:19 - 00:55:34:05Ben BransonYou can just mix with tonic or having a cocktail. You really don't need another sickly horrible mocktail. Check us out and see like drinks.com or Amazon and let me know what you think.